“You Are a Badass” BY Jen Sincero
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And still, after all this time,
the Sun has never said to the Earth,
“You owe me.”
Look what happens with love like
that. It lights up the sky.
I used to think quotes like this were a bunch of crap. I also didn’t understand
what the hell they were talking about. I mean, not that I cared. I was too cool.
What little I knew about the self help/spiritual world I found to be
unforgivably cheesy: it reeked of desperation, rah-rah churchiness and
unwanted hugs from unappealing strangers. And don’t even get me started
on how grouchy I used to be about God.
At the same time, there was all this stuff about my life that I desperately wanted to change and, had I been able to bulldoze through my holier-than-thouism, I could have really used some help around here. I mean, overall I was doing pretty well—I’d published a couple of books, had lots of great friends, a close family, an apartment, a car that ran, food, teeth, clothes, clean drinking water compared to the majority of the planet, my life was a total cream puff. But compared to what I knew I was capable of, I was, shall we say, unimpressed.
I always felt like, Come ON, this is the best I can do? Really? I’m going to make just enough to pay my rent this month? Again? And I’m going to spend another year dating a bunch of weirdoes so I can be in all these wobbly, noncommittal relationships and create even more drama? Really? And am I seriously going to question what my deeper purpose is and wallow in the misery of that quagmire for the millionth time? It. Was. A. Snore.
I felt like I was going through the motions of living my lukewarm life with the occasional flare-ups of awesomeness here and there. And the most painful part
was that deep down I KNEW I was a total rock star, that I had the power to
give and receive and love with the best of ‘em, that I could leap tall buildings in
a single bound and could create anything I put my mind to and . . . What’s that? I just got a parking ticket? You have got to be kidding me, let me see that.
I can’t afford to pay this, it’s like my third one this month! I’m going down there to talk to them right now . . . then, doop de do, off I’d go, consumed once again by low-level minutiae, only to find myself, a few weeks later, wondering where those few weeks went and how it could possibly be that I was still stuck in my rickety-ass apartment, eating dollar tacos by myself every night.
I’m assuming if you’re reading this that there are some areas of your life that
aren’t looking so good either. And that you know could be looking a whole lot
better. Maybe you’re living with your soul mate and are joyfully sharing your
gifts with the world, but are so broke that your dog is on his own if he wants to
get fed. Maybe you’re doing great financially and you have a deep connection to your higher purpose, but you can’t remember the last time you wet your pants laughing.
Or maybe you suck equally at all of the above and spend
your free time crying. Or drinking. Or getting pissed off at all the meter maids
who have precision timing and no sense of humor who, in your mind, are partly
responsible for your personal financial crisis. Or maybe you have everything
you’ve ever wanted but for some reason you still feel unfulfilled.
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